Monday, May 25, 2009

Unidentified flying object

what kind of redneck retard throws stuff at cyclists?

This was an unidentified flying object that landed on the ground as a car passed us near Coaticook last Saturday.

We picked it up and saw it was some sort of toxic beverage marketed to adolescent males.

Ok, now we have identified the object.

Now we need the identity of the a-hole who threw it at us.

It was a white chevy cavalier/pontiac sunfire. That much we know for certain.

We asked this witness if she had seen anything?

Mooo? Mrrrhhh?

Moooooo. Mooooo.

Translation: Males... they were males...

We looked further into the the Fuze brand's products, and discovered that Fuze is not a typical bottled beverage (i.e. three cents of sugar selling for a dollar). They call it a NHP, a "natural health product" (i.e. three cents of sugar and two cents of (horrible-tasting) vitamins selling for three dollars).

Just a minute, my Bull-sh1t detector alarm is ringing, let me go turn it off.

So this means that Coca-Cola (the manufacturer) is cashing in by selling crappy-tasting vitamin-sugar-water to anyone stupid enough to believe that the Coca-Cola company would sell anything that is good for your health.

We are happy to report that these males had poor throwing skills. But if they drink this stuff, they must have good throwing-up skills, cuz this crap sure looks vile.


Post a Comment

<< Home