Not an Epic Ride... Really!

My friend implied my ride was epic (epic ride = one where mere mortals may experience mortality before ride conclusion)

I respond:

Let me clearly and unambiguously make the claim that this was not an epic ride.

And I was home on schedule.

In my defence....

I was officially exploring potential route variations (one was an excellent discovery, the other one was conclusively proven the opposite).

I successfully resolved the flat with my spare tube and pump.

I further identified and removed the tiny tiny speck of glass from my tire's inner carcass that caused the flat , (very essential step, or another flat will ocur in ten minutes, and the bears would get me).

the minor mechanical issue of the bottom bracket lubrication did not preclude me from completing the ride on-bike.

Really, my preparedness level is quite high - My buddy P. rides 100 km rides with one spare tube and one co2 cartridge, and no tools of any sort. Whereas I have a good repair and spares capability, this is a bit of a family trait when my dad didn't want us to freeze to death during the ski-doo days of high school--he taught us well. So really, being on a ride with me greatly increases your incident-recovery potential.

The rain was an external factor beyond my control, the forecast was 40% chance of showers, I knew what I was getting in to... and when it rained I never got wet because I would duck under a tree for the always-short-duration showers, and from one dry & cozy under-tree spot, I saw a soaked-to-the-bone marinoni rider riding in the rain and then I saw him two minutes later after he gave up and u-turned. The rain stopped, and I continued on my way, entirely comfy and dry. In fact I almost never get wet. But if I do, it's a competitive advantage, as it makes me ride much faster.

But the risks did include possibly eaten getting by bears, wolves, or mutant bear-wolf hybrids. These I either outran, snuck by while they were eating an earlier cyclist, or they away were at the canada day celebrations (not too many of these in the lanaudiere!)